Alternate Journals: Marina and the Amazon (3)

     It was odd being surrounded by other women. It made me wonder how Crimson, the lone man here, was handling it. For me, I was already seen as an oddity most of my life being a rare breed as a female sailor in a paternally driven world. Only a quarter of the Leviathan's crew was female but the men treated us like equals. After a week of travel through splatters of jungles ending each night at a small satellite camp housing a dozen Amazon warriors, I felt out classed by the quality of women that surrounded us.

     “What is it like living with men?” Rena whispered to me. We sat alone by the central fire pit. “Will you tell me little sister?” she added. I looked at this woman that was no more than a year younger than me who had gained the warrior title on the day Crimson returned to the ship.

     “Would that be prior to becoming a sailor on the Leviathan or after?” I asked stalling her. Ashstar assigned her to me as my teacher of the Amazon Way. I felt no insult by receiving the lowest member of our travel group as my superior.

     “Both!” she exclaimed. She smiled easily which I saw as impossible for a person trained only for a life of battle. I had much still to learn about what being an Amazon truly meant.

     “My life before the Leviathan is only a half remember mix of dreams and nightmares.” I answered truthfully. “Fighting along side men that expect you to protect them with the same dedication they have to protect you sums up my life on the Leviathan.” I explained. “Those men see women as equal without reservation.” I admitted.

     “I must believe men away from your ship look down upon you.” Rena commented.

     “But that behaviour is mirrored in how Amazons see men.” I retorted without anger. “Either women or men can be physically weak while possessing other nimble gifts such as their mind.” I added.

     “Which shows in ranks same as the ones created within the Amazons.” she countered. “Strength of arm is not the only way to defeat an opponent.” she continued. It was not the first time she recited this litany to me. “It is when you combine your gifts that victory is yours to grasp.”

     “Which is true for individuals as well as for groups.” I stated the last line of this lesson. “You are a good trainer big sister Rena.”

     “And you learn easily little sister Marina.” she replied quickly. “But I still wonder if you truly wish to be an Amazon in your heart or simply doing this to feel equal to brother Crimson?” she said slowly. “You refused taking a separate tent making some believe you plan to claim him upon becoming a warrior.” she added as explanation.

     “If he wish me to be his, I am willing to take him as mine.” I told her in a whisper. “He has as much right to chose as I do.” I continued. “Is that not the right of a Free Man of the Amazons?”

     “Yes, even if that title is honorary instead of earned in the Amazon Way.” Rena returned. “Just know that while you share his tent no Amazon will ask or accept mating requests.” she whispered. “I am just warning you little sister that you are blocking his chances at taking a mate.”

     “And if he tells me that he seeks a mate from the other Amazons, I will take another tent.” I retorted. “We do not even sleep on the same pallet at night.” I told her. “He is truly honourable in giving me as much choice as I give him.” I continued. I felt my cheek redden at the thought of being curled against Crimson's body. “Maybe I do want to be a warrior simply to claim him as mine.” I admitted.

     “Tell him your feelings.” Rena reported. “It would not be the first time a little sister claimed her mate before gaining her warrior title.” she stated. “And you need not do it in Amazon fashion for us to accept it.”

     “I am still unsure of his heart.” I confided to her. “I see him treating all the women here with equal respect and acceptance.” I continued. “And Thea is assigned to him which is odd.” I added. I remembered Thea's pale face and the fear she admitted to me while helping me strap on my armour.

     “It made sense to me because of her past.” Rena returned. “Ashstar would want Rena to overcome her fear of Blood Mages which brother Crimson can give her.” she explained.

     “He is not a Blood Mage!” I snapped at her. “He cannot control the blood in others body unlike those Blood Mages.” I retorted. My anger flared at Rena's lack of understanding.

     “It does not matter who's blood he manipulates.” she returned. “Seeing his gift regularly helps her control her fears.” she continued. “Making Thea less likely to suffer battle shock if she faces a Blood Mage.” she explained. “And it is her wish to find and defeat the monster that murdered her family and friends before her eyes.” she added in a conspiratorial whisper.

     “But she need not face it alone.” I countered. “She has sisters to stand with her.”

     “Who may die at the monster's hands if she is too frighten to act.” Rena returned. “You must be as dependable to your sisters as they are to you.” she told me. “An individual weakness causes all in the group to be weakened.”

     “I can accept that.” I replied softly. “As a member of the Leviathan, we must protect and depend on each other during battles as much as during the calm times.” I told her. “It is the only reason we can survive while destroying the rift beasts.” I confided in her quietly.

     “It is still hard seeing him with another woman at his side.” Rena remarked. I nodded back to her in silence.

     “To bed for me.” I said. “We remain in place tomorrow to practice and test our skills before proceeding to the harbour town.” I stated. She smiled at me slowly nodding her agreement. “Good night and dreams big sister.” I added.

     “Good night and dreams for you also little sister.” she returned calmly. “Dreams of your man in red.” she added with a shy giggle. She stood quickly to dart away before I could say anything to her. I moved slowly to the tent I shared with Crimson. With nothing but a simple candle for light, he sat writing what appeared to be notes reflected in three columns.

     “I am setting a translation guide from common, Amazonian, and my true language.” he explained without looking up. He finally looked up at me when I stood in the tent in silence. “You look flushed.” he remarked. He moved quickly ignoring the scrolls he was writing upon that scattered around him. “What happened?” he asked gently. He place his left hand on my shoulder gently as all I could do was stare back at him. When his right hand raised to his face, I spotted the same disk of reddish light floating in his hand before his right eye.

     “What is that device?” I forced out. “What does it do?” I added. I felt my chest tightly holding my breath while my mind raced to think of words to say to him.

     “It is a medical aid.” he replied softly. He gazed through the circle of light at me. “What has you speechless before me since you appear in full health?” he said softly. The disk disappeared from his hand as he moved to place it on my other shoulder. “You offered to be my aid which means I must be of help to you as well.” he added. His touch was so gentle for such a large man with great physical prowess made me melt as I stood facing him.

     “Sorry.” I whispered. “I must be more spent than I believed I was.” I continued. I tried stepping passed him but only succeeded in falling into his arms. He scooped me into his arms as I saw the concern creasing his face. He moved me gently to my sleep pallet. He laid me down upon it before making his medical device return to his right hand. I know I must have blushed a deep shade of red as he looked at my body from head to toe through that red hued disk. “I am fine.” I muttered but I am unsure if the words were spoken in the real world.

     “I see nothing wrong with your health.” he report. “Simply rest and I will examine you again in the morning.” he whispered his order to me. “It is good that we remain here an extra day.” he added.

     “Sleep will cure me.” I assured him. Once again, I could not tell if my words were out loud or simply in my mind. He ran his hand caressing the side of my face before standing once more. I held back attempting another speech that I did not know if he heard. He covered me with a light blanket. He returned to his pallet to lay down and blow out the candle light. I gazed at him in the half darkness feeling without seeing that he looked back at me with those crystal blue eyes. I drifted to sleep while my eyes remained glued on him.

I awoke the next morning to a partially filled tent. Crimson, Ashstar, and Talon stood in a tight triangle near the tent flap. Thea and Rena were near to them standing at attention waiting.
     “What outside of maladies and poisons could cause this?” Crimson asked in a hushed voice. Sailors hearing must be keen to note the smallest of warning whispers. I made my ears sharpen by closing my eyes to listen to their whispered conversation.

     “Pregnancy?” Talon suggested.

     “It would be in effect prior to my presence.” Crimson retorted stiffly. A soft giggle escaped Talon.

     “I do not believe sister Talon was placing paternal culpability upon your shoulders.” Ashstar stated. “But, neither of you would be opposed to that eventuality.” she told him. I heard them chuckle and giggle. “Your blush proves that you agree.” she added.

     “I did not see internal signs of pregnancy.” he continued softer. “I will verify that possibility closer during my next examination.” he added.

     “If she is pregnant, we may be forced to delay sailing.” Talon returned. “Possibly two years for the child to be ready to travel.” she added quickly.

     “If she does not regain enough health, I must agree that sailing is impossible for her or the child to survive.” Ashstar commented. “It forces us to consider taking the Silk Road.”

     “Please explain this silk road to me?” Crimson replied quickly.

     “It is the land path that passes through the northern part of India.” Thea answered.

     “Increasing our journey by many months through troubled lands.” Ashstar confirmed. “Which will be harder on little sister Marina walking the distance and on the child born at the roadside.” she explained slowly. “But boarding a ship before she regains her health may kill her and the unborn child.” she added.

     “I am not pregnant!” I screamed at them. I looked at them to see no reaction. I sat up quickly calling their name as loud as I could. I believe luck was in my favour that Rena glanced in my direction.

     “She's awake.” she announced. They moved to my side kneeling by my sleep pallet. I tried once more to speak to them gaining nothing but confused and worried glances. Crimson had his circle of red as he force my head back with a firm grip on my chin.

     “There is nothing there to cause her muteness!” he growled. I noticed from my prone position both Ashstar and Talon peered through the circle.

     “That appear proper to most throats I have opened.” Talon muttered. I snapped my fingers at Crimson as I notice Crimson moving the reddish disk to examine my stomach. I touched my stomach shaking my head violently at him.

     “I believe she is telling us that she is not pregnant.” Rena stated for me. “Could this be an infection?” she added softly.

     “What is an infection?” Crimson muttered. Rena shock her head as she touched my forehead with the back of her hand.

     “I feel a bit of a fever.” she proclaimed. “Open your mouth very wide?” she asked. As I opened my mouth, Rena tilted my head as she examine inside my mouth. “Reddish striation of the inner throat and begin of mucus around the uvula.” she reported. “Show me the blood flow around this area.” she ordered to Crimson. He held the disk before Rena's eyes who grappled his wrist to slowly scan from her neck to her ears and nose. “I believe it is a mild throat infection.” she stated calmer. “Have Menes search for the needed herbs while we confirm little sister is not pregnant.” she added. Thea had taken paper and quill from the pile on the floor carrying it to Marina.

     “Can you write?” she asked gently. I nodded with a half smile making her force the paper and quill into my hands. “Why are you sure you are not pregnant little sister?” she added. It was easy for me to explain.

     “I have not been with a man for many years.” I wrote. I held it up to Rena who shrugged before passing it to Crimson. I tried to grapple it before he could read the words but both Rena and Thea held me from moving.

     “Just relax until we can get the healing herbs into you.” Rena ordered. I blushed as I pointed toward the paper. Crimson glanced at the paper before crumpling it up.

     “She cannot be pregnant.” he informed them. He glanced at me and nodded. I must have turn brightly red since I received many curious looks.

     “Could her discolouration be caused by this infection?” Talon asked.

     “I believe it is the words she wrote that causes her redness.” Rena returned. “I will teach you our written language so we need not show to brother Crimson your private words.” she told me. “We will not be leaving here for a week to assure you have recovered fully.” she added.

     “I am still waiting to understand what an infection is?” Crimson reminded them.

     “It is that same as a wound that goes bad.” Thea reported. “It can cause fever, weakness, pain, and other effects depending on the type.” she explained. “It is seen as a disease which is why we did not mention it earlier.” she corrected.

     “What are the chances of it being contagious?” Crimson asked slowly.

     “Very low since none have shared water skins or eating implements.” Rena returned. “Have your lips touched hers?” she asked. I could feel my face redden once more as I tried avoiding looking at Crimson.

     “It is beautiful when man and woman share their colour.” Thea remarked.

     “Enough teasing!” Ashstar snapped. “They will make their on mind and path without us pushing them together.” she added. She nodded at us before signalling in silence to leave. Rena stopped at the tent flap to gaze back at me.

     “I will return once we have the herbs prepared.” she said. I was alone once more with Crimson. He returned to kneel at my side while I sat on the pallet.

     “I does not matter to me if you had been with another man.” he told me softly. “If you had been pregnant, it would not change how deeply you have touched me.” he said slowly. “I will find a way of sending word to the Leviathan since this infection may have started there.” he continued. I looked at him slightly confused by his change of subject. “Do not look at me confused since I know the crew of the Leviathan is family for you.” he added. I reached up to take his hand and touch his cheek. I gently turned his head to see the papers before pointing at the mess. He turned back to look at me. I held up the quill to him. He rushed on all four to the papers grabbing blank sheets to bring back to me. I covered my mouth as I giggled forgetting he could not hear it.

     “Thank you for knowing what would make me worry.” I wrote. “It shows that you think of me as important.” I added.

     “You followed me into an unknown adventure because you wanted to help me.” he returned. “You make it impossible for me not to see you as important.” he continued. “The most import person that I have been with in a very long time.” he whispered to me. He placed his hands on my shoulders and gently pushed me back to laying down. He laid next to me on the dirt to look into my eyes. It is at that point he told me the story of his last love, the huntress Elana, including how she died to save him. “Promise me to never sacrifice your life for me.” he muttered softly. I shook my head at him. He laughed mirthlessly. “I could not continue living knowing you are gone from my life.” he added. He brought my hand to his mouth to half kissed half bit my wrist. I sighed before shaking my head at him again. We stayed staring at each other until I drifted back to sleep. I am happy that a week later we boarded a ship to sail the Indian Ocean passing the top of Madagascar to the southern tip of India. But still I am unsure if he choice me as his or if I am but his dearest friend.